I wrote this 2 years ago when I was interning for the sex blog, Em & Lo.
I stopped writing about sex because I was tired of receiving hate letters and angry comments, accusing me of trying to be “edgy” and “controversial” when I was really just writing in my own voice, as honestly as I usually talk in person. The comment section of this particular blog serves as a fairly accurate summary of the types of responses I would receive, with some sharing positive and encouraging thoughts, while others criticized my relationship, doubted its viability and condemned me for allegedly trying to be ”sexually ‘cutting edge’”.
Well, mother fuckers. I’m still with the boyfriend who you thought I “settled with” because we “couldn’t get with the people [we] actually desired.” It’s been almost 5 years, and we’re still going strong, despite your know-it-all suggestions that it would all eventually fall apart.
Though I’ve pretty much rid myself of any desire to write about sex again, I’m considering emailing my previous employers and asking them if I can write a follow-up to this blog, as a fuck you to all of the people who thought my relationship would fail because of my apparent lack of “class.” Who said that all relationships must fit a certain formula? Who dictated that all couples must remain monogamous and stifle the attractions they have to other people?
I’m sorry if that just seems wildly unrealistic to me, but I’m fucking 23, have been dating the same boy since I was 18-years old, and if I occasionally have the desire to make out or sleep with some other dude, I don’t think this diminishes the amount of respect or love that I have for my boyfriend. After all, haven’t we as a culture already established that sex does not equal love? And if my boyfriend and I have already set in place firm ground rules about what lines can and cannot be crossed, can any extracurricular activities I partake in really be equated with betrayal?
This is not to even say that I have partaken in any extracurricular activities, because honestly when there are no boundaries, there’s little adventure to compel you to push them.
I’m not saying that our relationship is the gold standard in how all relationships should be - but if it’s been working out for us so far so good, does anyone really have the right to judge us the way people have so vehemently done in the past?
Anyways, just some thoughts. If I do write a follow-up, I’ll probably link it here.
